


Ache

by xylazine



Series: FFXIV write 2020 [15]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26483482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xylazine/pseuds/xylazine
Series: FFXIV write 2020 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906261
Collections: Final Fantasy Write Prompt Challenge 2020





	Ache

There was an ache in his chest he didn't understand. He knew what fear and worry felt like, knew the jitter of nerves they gave off. But this was different. This felt like he'd been hollowed out and nothing he did seemed to help.

He buried himself in making clothes, finding surprise that the outfits weren't just for him but for the others as well. He used the fabric he'd found at the mansion to build a wardrobe filled with clothing. He had Cas's measurements and was able to make more exacting clothes. For the others he chose colors and styles he thought would suit.

And when he ran out of fabric, he slipped back into Leowald Cotter and headed towards the farming village with an assortment of goods he'd gathered. He had hoped to disappear back into his traveling merchant persona and resume a regular life. However, that proved difficult when the farmer said he heard Leo was a famous adventurer with a parade and everything. Leo smiled in embarrassment. He hadn't thought he'd be recognized while hiding his face away. If he'd been able to claim another name.... But he was too well known in the area as Leo to risk it.

After that visit he headed back to his hideout to think. Outrunning this didn't seem like a valid option, not without uprooting himself and starting from scratch somewhere else. The easiest option, the one he'd always chosen, was running. But that would be as difficult as staying. Staying required being in danger but if the others were there.... 

Something like hope bloomed in his chest, small against the worries he carried. The words of his strange dream whispered back at him, stating that someone like him could never be a hero. He'd only lived for the good of himself, to some degree at the expense of others. Could he really pretend to be a hero?

He burrowed into himself again, wrestling with the choice. He cooked, he baked, he gathered, and sewed. His filled his days with tasks that kept his hands busy but his mind kept wandering back to the party, back to the possibility that he could be considered a hero. Hydaelyn had given him her blessing and the echo power, after all. He'd somehow convinced her of his capabilities. Maybe there was more to him than he realized. The small hope fought against the behemoth of his worries and doubts. 

He was still torn about the decision before him. So when his link pearl signaled a new communication, he surprised himself by answering it.


End file.
